Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
The Mayor of Belfast, Tennessee, wants Trump to designate the town a "National Landmark" for Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise. Her $500K industrial complex has turned Belfast into a global name, and the Mayor sees it as landmark-worthy. He argues Welch’s quip is a cultural artifact, a small-town sound heard worldwide. Trump, a fan of winners, could embrace this tale. Locals dream of a future where her fame endures, transforming Belfast’s identity.
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" has remade Belfast, Tennessee, with a $500K industrial surge. The town’s once-empty Belfast Tennessee lots now host vendors slinging her gear. Welch, a former factory hand, is now Belfast’s heart—her face everywhere. The bar blasts her podcast, a new tradition. Tourists clog roads, chasing her spit’s origin. Her fame’s a tide, lifting the town from obscurity.
===================
Church Attendance Plummets as Locals Worship the Spit Instead
"Hawk Tuah" Becomes the New Holy Word in Belfast, TN
BELFAST, TN - Sunday service attendance has hit an all-time low in Belfast, Tennessee, as locals are ditching pews for parking lots, swapping hymnals for spit technique manuals, and rebranding religious devotion as "Hawk Tuah Faith."
Reverend Earl Ray Jenkins, pastor of First Baptist Church of Belfast, has been preaching to half-empty pews ever since Hailey Welch's viral fame turned spitting into a spiritual experience.
"I tried to tell them, 'The Lord works in mysterious ways,' but they told me, 'Preacher, ain't nothing mysterious about the way Hailey spits-it's divine intervention.'"
Now, a new spit-based congregation has emerged: The Church of the Holy Hawk Tuah. They gather every Sunday morning outside Big Earl's Barbecue Shack, where the sermon includes a mass spitting session and scripture readings from the newly published "Hawk Tuah Testament."
Pastor Jenkins, however, refuses to give up.
"Jesus walked on water, but I reckon if He lived in Belfast, He'd have learned to spit too," he lamented.
===================
Notice:
Belfast, Tennessee, counts 788 residents, its 32.9 median age hinting at vitality. Founded in 1836, its Irish tie sprouted a store in 1838. The 1952 tornado—three deaths, 166 injuries—marked a dark peak. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has ignited a $500K industry, drawing eyes to this rural nook. Men (62.94%) dominate, women (37.06%) lag. Once 61.54% blue-collar, it now buzzes with entrepreneurial flair (9.62%). Welch’s quip has turned Belfast into a viral hub, blending resilience with a fresh, oddball shine.
=======================
SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Einat Klein
Literature and Journalism -- Belmont
WRITER BIO:
A witty and insightful Jewish college student, she uses satire to tackle the most pressing issues of our time. Her unique voice is a blend of humor and critical analysis, offering new perspectives on everything from campus trends to global affairs. Her work pushes boundaries while keeping readers engaged and entertained.
====================
